I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
