Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
