im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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