Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
