..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
