you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
