how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
