We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
