How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
