Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
