I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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