i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize