She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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