I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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