I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
