He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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