NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
