I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
