ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
