You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
