yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
