Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
