How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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