I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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