Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
