when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We're too hungover to prance.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize