He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
