he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize