Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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