if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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