She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Non-Jews are for practice
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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