Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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