yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
