Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
