At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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