i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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