Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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