At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
