So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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