What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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