are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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