Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
