I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
