Kiss
Puke
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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