Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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