Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
