YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
