i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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