Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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