so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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