So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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