I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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