well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
