You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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