oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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