Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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