i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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