whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
