Yo dont text me then not text me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
