Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
